28 years young

Apparently, 28 is the best year of your 20s.  Who knew?

I didn't make a big deal of it on here, but I celebrated my 28th birthday last Monday.  It was pretty low-key and I have to say, I sort of enjoyed that part.  We stretched the celebrating out over a few days but no one day was balls-to-the-wall crazy.  The night before my birthday we had our regular Sunday Family dinner with B's side.  They had a cake for me and made one of my favorite meals: steak and mashed potatoes.  I got two amazing cookbooks that I've been eying and a beautiful, thoughtful necklace from my future sister-in-law.

"mrs" necklacke | The Real Girl's Kitchen | Against All Grain

Monday night, my actual birthday, I started my day with a Pure Barre class and ended my day by working the night shift in the ICU.  Most people probably think this would be an awful way to spend a birthday but I really enjoyed my shift.  The staff wished me happy birthday and I got an IV started successfully!

Wednesday we headed to Austin for the Thanksgiving holiday. My brothers were occupied that evening, but I was able to enjoy a wonderful birthday dinner with my parents and my grandmother.  If you're ever in Austin I would highly recommend Spicewood Tavern. It's a great little restaurant in my parent's neighborhood that's relatively new and we've enjoyed a few nights there over the last year.  They usually have live music going and there are always great beers on tap.  B had The Goolsby, a drink made with jalapeno and serrano infused tequila - spicy!

delicious crab fritters

Steak really is my favorite meal.

My parents got me a jacket I had spied a few weeks earlier at J. Crew factory. Despite knowing what I was getting, I was still thrilled! Sadly, it was 65 degrees in Austin and it's been even warmer in Houston so I haven't yet had a chance to wear it. On the upside, we're supposed to get pretty chilly this weekend and I'm itching to wear this beauty!

B had told me that my gift still hadn't arrived, but when I came back to town on Monday it was here! He surprised me with a gorgeous watch I've been drooling over for months.  Between getting to spend time with family, loving my nursing program, and getting to marry the man of my dreams in a few months, I'd say that 28 is going to be a wonderful year for me.  The gifts I was spoiled with were just icing on the cake.

xoxo,

Cait

Spark and the ICU

Just wrapped up my LAST clinical of the semester and I am thrilled! Being in the ICU was an awesome experience.  I'm fairly certain that I want to be an ICU nurse after my experiences there, though I'm keeping my options open until I've gone through Pediatrics (still thinking I'd love the NICU too!) and Maternal/OB.  Just a few of the things I saw/did during this rotation: someone's eyeball popped out, patients crashing/coding, ventilator patients, female circumcision, and limb amputation.  Crazy, right? I loved every second!

Now that I'm home from what I hope will be my last night shift ever for a while, I'm going to nap hard before B and I head to Austin for Thanksgiving.  We'll be packing up the pups and spending a few days in my parents' house which is currently under renovations. Cross your fingers that the crew is hard at work putting in baseboards and a toilet today! Otherwise, B and I will each be on a couch and we'll be using my parents' master bathroom for all our necessary business. 

PLEASE let us have more than one toilet in the house!

Before I slip away to La La Land, I am giving away a FREE box of Spark!  Yup, a whole box of Spark, in whatever flavor the winner wants.  All you have to do is join up with Sami and I for our Holiday Clean Up AdvoCare 10 Day Cleanse!  Your entry for the giveaway is your purchase of the Herbal Cleanse. When you buy from me, I'll automatically have your name put in the drawing.  Purchase by Monday, December 2nd to be eligible.  Winner will be announced Tuesday! If you buy a whole 24 Day Challenge then I'll have to come up with an even better giveaway - maybe Spark and some Slam? We'll see!

Sami and I will be starting the cleanse on Monday, but you can always start a day or two late and just follow along. Use #HolidayCleanUp to join in on the fun!

Happy Pre-Turkey Day! Get your sweatpants ready!

xoxo,

Cait 

PS - The giveaway for $40 cash is still going on at JustJacq. There are just over 100 entries which means you've got a great chance at winning it just in time to spend it on some cute holiday accessories!

family

Tuesday was a pretty big day for my family. But before I get into that, let me give you some background on my family.

I was the oldest* child in my family and my brothers, who are twins, were born 15 months after me. I always wanted a sister to play with but substituted that by dressing up my brothers while they were too little to fight back. When I was in second grade my parents divorced. It was hard, but so much better than the fighting that went on. And it led to some wonderful things that would not have happened otherwise.
*You'll understand why I say "was" after the next paragraph.

1990: My brothers (both on the right) and I playing in our living room with a family friend

In fifth grade, my mom remarried.  My stepdad is an amazing guy and took in my brothers and I as if we were his biological kids.  He had 3 kids from his first marriage - 2 girls and 1 boy.  Together, we were the Brady Bunch (it was even our Christmas card photo one year!). At the time they got married, they had a kid in 2nd grade, twins in 4th grade, my new stepsister and I in 5th grade, and my older stepsister in 9th grade.  Talk about a house full! As with any blended family, there were some big fights as we all learned to live together but I wouldn't have it any other way.

2006: family Christmas card photo

The hardest part of my parents being divorced was the time my brothers and I spent with my dad - it was me and 3 guys. Talk about being outnumbered.  But that all changed in 8th grade when my dad got remarried.  My stepmom was younger, had no kids, and just cool.  I really enjoyed hanging out with her and finally being able to have "girl time" when I spent weekends at my dad's house.  While I was in high school, my dad and stepmom had 2 kids, both girls.  I am 16 and 18 years older than them which creates a unique sister relationship.

2008: Graduation from Notre Dame with K (4 y.o.) and E (5 y.o.)

And it should be no surprise that my grandparents have been an important part of life throughout all of this craziness. We lost my grandfather last winter suddenly, which makes the time I spend with my grandmother now even more valuable.

2009: dancing at my cousin's wedding

Over the years, with such a large and extended family, we've had our share of successes and failures: graduations, boyfriends and girlfriends that come and go, weddings, divorces, pregnancies, engagements, failed engagements, moving out of country, finding jobs, losing jobs....

Which brings me to yesterday, a very, very special day.  Because this beautiful little girl is now legally part of our family. Forever.

August 2013: Tati and my stepdad

Tati was born this January to my oldest stepsister, E, and her partner, N. Though N carried the baby, Tati has always been their child. And she has always been my niece. And my parents' grandchild.  It doesn't matter that my mom is E's stepmom. It doesn't matter that Tati shares absolutely no DNA with E. E and N are her mothers. Tati is their daughter.

And Tuesday was the adoption hearing to legally make Tati my sister's daughter.  

In a time when same-sex marriage and equality for the LGBT community are at the forefront of politics and society, I think it is too easy to forget the people that are living this civil rights movement.  It's NOT just Prop 8 or DOMA. It's not just a piece of legislation. It is the men and women and children who have found love and formed families. 

I love my sister. I love her partner. And I love my niece.

xoxo,
Cait

PS - Whether you support gay rights or not, that's your choice.  And that isn't what this post is about. It's about love and family.

PPS - If you haven't watched this tear-jerker of a video about a man's love for his wife of 75 years, take a few minutes and do so. The full story can be found here.

 

84th birthday

Grandpa,

Today is your 84th birthday.  Or, it would be if you were still here.  You've been gone now for 219 days.  I keep thinking it will get easier, but it hasn't.

Sure, there are days where it doesn't cross my mind as frequently and when I'm almost able to forget that you won't be here to witness some pretty big moments in our lives.  But then it all comes crashing back to me and before I realize it, I'm driving down the road with tears streaming down my face and a lump in my throat that feels like it will burn a hole in me before I'm able to swallow it down.  That's when I think of you most - on my long drives back and forth to Galveston. I can only listen to the same songs on the radio for so long before I have to turn them off and that's when my mind begins to wander.

I wonder if you know all these things, if you're aware of how I feel.  I wonder if you watch down on us as we go through our lives.  I hope you're here, but I don't feel your presence.  I talk to you all the time, hoping and praying that I'll hear your voice again, knowing that it isn't possible.

Speaking of your voice, I have two of your old voicemails stored on my phone.  I listened to them one day when I transferred everything over to my new phone, almost in a panic when I didn't know how to move them, afraid that I would lose your voice forever.  I must have replayed them twenty times apiece, over and over again.  But since then I can't bring myself to listen to them.  I would give anything to hear you call me "Prissy Britches" one more time. To hug you so tightly that I'd never let go.

I worry about Grandmother in that house alone.  Patrick (and Sophie) moved out a few weeks ago so she's all alone there and it worries me.  Does she wake up and for a split second forget that you're gone, only to have to relive the horror of your death all over again? Does she sometimes call out to you only to remember that you aren't there?  How do you live with someone, grow with someone, rely on someone for 60 years of marriage and one day they're gone forever?  Does she talk to you the way that I do?  I can't bring myself to ask her these questions and truthfully, I'm scared that the answers may break my heart even more. I can't handle that.

What if something similar happens to her and no one is around? I wish I knew you were watching over her so that couldn't happen. 

I'm getting married in 224 days.  You were supposed to give me away.  I don't know what I'll do on my wedding day, and I don't mean the logistics of who will walk me down that aisle.  I'm afraid the reality that you aren't there will hit me and completely debilitate me, send me into a crying mess that no hair or makeup can repair.  And I don't want such a beautiful day to be ruined, but in some ways it already is because you won't be there.  You were the one that B called to ask permission before proposing.  How can I do this without you by my side? 

I started nursing school in May.  I'm doing well and I love it.  I wish I could talk to you about it. I know that you would be so proud of me. I have so many hours I spend back and forth in the car that I wish I could spend talking to you.

Do you know all these things I'm telling you?  Are you aware of what's going on in our lives here?  Do you know about how we all basically fell apart and had to learn to put ourselves back together since you died?  So many things have happened - Natasha and Emily had their baby, Christine called off the wedding, David decided that law school was not where he belonged, I quit teaching, David moved back to Austin, I started nursing school, Nancy had her baby, Patrick and Claire moved in together. It's only been 7 months and yet so much has changed.  How much more will continue to change without you being here for it all?

I miss you. I think I miss you as much today as the first day. I don't know if that will ever change. But today, on what would have been your birthday, it is that much harder. I feel like a coward, but I'm thankful that I have 12 hour day at clinical today because I don't know how to talk to Mom and Grandmother on your birthday.  It certainly won't have escaped their minds, much like it hasn't escaped mine.  Selfishly, I hope that I can make it through my clinicals with so much going on that I don't have time to just stop and think, to allow my mind to wander.

I want today to happen on fast-forward.

I'd like every July 27th from here forward to just disappear.

I love you, Grandpa. Happy Birthday.

 

 

 

July 27, 1929 - December 19, 2012

Random Things

Nursing school and working full-time is no joke.  I'm alive and well, just not spending much time blogging/blog reading these days.  But lucky for you, I've given my self a 15 minute break and rather than eat junk food I am taking this time to blog!

1) I'm joining Holly in the Ab 300 Challenge.  I stated earlier this month I'd be doing the May Meltdown with Ms. Michaels but that hasn't really panned out like I wanted.  If you're interested in the challenge, visit The Petit Athleat!

2) I got this awesome new workout tank but I'm VERY self conscious when I wear it around the neighborhood.  I took it out for a run last week and felt like all the moms were giving me the evil eye through their house windows.  But I also love it a lot so I don't think it will stop me from wearing it.

Super Cala Fraga Tank (clink on picture for link)

3) B and I had our engagement party this past weekend and it was wonderful!  My future SIL (who I love and am so blessed to have in my life) threw it for us as a chance for our families and wedding party to get together.

Future SIL could seriously BE my sister.  And I look pretty amazing in that Kiki La Rue dress :)

Most of the wedding party couldn't make it, but this girl did! Julie is a very good friend of mine who I met through Teach for America when I moved to Houston 5 years ago.  She's seen my relationship with B grow from mere flirtations to what it is today.

 
There were also shot girls at the bar/restaurant and we got my Grandmother to take quite a few tequila shots.  It was the sort of scene my grandfather would have loved and I felt his presence that night very much.  I'm actually getting weepy just sitting here and typing this (though that could be the lack of sleep + the abundance of Spark in my system) so Lord knows how I'll make it through my wedding.

      

4) Wrote thank you notes for the gifts we got yesterday on these gorgeous note cards I found at Tar-jay.  Holla!
 

1 // not online // not online

4) Got my Watermelon Spark in yesterday and it's pretty, pretty, pretty good (Larry David/Curb Your Enthusiasm reference? Anyone? Okay then, watch below.)

5) I told myself I'd reward myself for every A I got on a nursing school test.  Took our first one yesterday and got a solid B.  Not horrible, but I'm disappointed in myself and determined to get an A on the next one, which is tomorrow.

On that note, back to studying. Here's an #ootd from school on Tuesday - sweet test hair, Cait.

xoxo,
YFG